MILF (Mother I Like to breastFeed)

This weekend Maddie and I watched two videos on Youtube over and over again. The two videos that Maddie couldn’t get enough of are, La Teta and Breastfeeding Toddlers . She absolutely loves these and laughs with glee. After watching La Teta, she looked up at me and buried her little face into my bosom, her chubby legs draped over mine, with her little toes twined together. What a feeling, so warm, cozy and secure—just lovely.

Yes, she is two and yes, we are still breastfeeding. I’m writing this blog as a cathartic expression. Far too often, I find myself vexed about whether I should be still breastfeeding. I cringe when my mom asks, “are you still breasting feeding?” Or when my sister says, “you’ve got to stop that” or from my friend, “wont that rot her teeth?” What is it with American’s conception, or should I say, misconception of breastfeeding? While living in Brazil, not once did I feel out of place for breastfeeding Maddie in a public place, whether it was on a bus, or in the middle of a busy restaurant. The norm in Brazil is to breastfeed from 2 to 5 years. So, why is it that in “progressive” America breastfeeding past one year of age (which itself is a relatively new concept) is seen as needless, disgusting and detrimental? And how can we ever think that forumla or cow’s milk is better than mother’s milk?

Times have got to change people, and I mean cultural change on a mass scale. You might think, impossible! But as Kathy Dettwyler, anthropologist from Texas notes, cultural change can happen, we’ve seen it within the last 20 years with cigarette smoke. As the public was made aware, via a little help from the government, laws were put into place that prohibited smoking in restaurants, grocery stores, and planes. Massive change can happen, so why not with breastfeeding? Why should a woman be told to leave a building for breastfeeding her child?

What will it take for cultural change to occur? Maybe little steps at first, coming from mothers, and then from a larger scale, like the work Dr. Ann Kellams at University of Virginia Children’s hospital is doing to promote breastfeeding from day one of an infants life and to band infant formula from being in the take home gift bags given to new mothers. Only then, will the general public start to conceptualize breastfeeding as natural and normal.

My first step is to write this blog and put it out there for other women who are conditioned to think that in order to gain their “body” back they have to force their child to stop breastfeeding and feel that they have to substitute the feeling of security that comes from the mother-child bond with a “transitional toy” as soon as the child reaches one.

Finally, I end with a quote from Kathy Dettwyler :“Breastfeeding is more than just the transfer of nutrients from mother to child. Not only nutritionally, but immunologically, physically, cognitively, and emotionally, breastmilk is vastly superior to artificial infant feeding products, and breastfeeding is much more than just a way to feed a child, much more than just a "lifestyle choice." Women need to know about the advantages of breast milk and breastfeeding; they need to know that breast milk protects children against a variety of illnesses and parasites as long as they are ingesting it, and that an early diet of breast milk sets the stage for life-long health advantages through a strengthened immune system… They need to know that breast milk continues to be an important source of clean, cheap and convenient nutrition for their children as long as they are producing milk, and that breast milk can be a critical source of nutrients for a sick child…Women need to know that breastfeeding quiets a noisy or fussy child, relaxes an anxious child, comforts a sick, injured, or frightened child, and conveys unequivocally that the child is safe and loved. They need to know that a child who has the "safe haven" of her mother's arms is a secure, independent child, one who has the self-confidence to reach out and explore the world. Finally, women need to know that meeting their children's needs through breastfeeding, as long as children express those needs, is both normal and appropriate.”

"Marlo the party woman"

"It was cool to hang at Wende's with 'Marlo the party woman' as opposed to 'Marlo the mom' (not that the two are opposed or mutually exclusive)."

This was how the email from my friend Adam started. He hit it right on, "Marlo the party woman" was out in full force on Friday night. Matthew took the kids home, leaving with a peck and a whisper,"have a great time, come home when ever you want". I was on my own, feeling great, and surrounded by highly intelligent people--all anthropologist & archaeologist--which was so exciting.

I had no idea what 2 hours without kids, 3 glasses of white wine, and conversations varying from Facebook to defining irony, could do for me. I've been smiling ever since and its Tuesday!!

Adam pointed out that the two--the party woman & the mom--weren't mutually exclusive. I believe that, in fact, i think for the mom to be at her best she needs to be a 'party woman' or just a woman--periodically feeling free to experience moments of life without being in the grip of worry for her little ducklings. This short escapade has made me a better mom, wife and woman.
Cheers!

Food Challenge

This past week has been a challenge for me! And I have to admit, I’ve slipped up a few times. After hearing an interview on NPR from our (currently) favorite author, Michael Pollan, I vowed to not eat anything that has more than 5 ingredients or ingredients that I can’t pronounce. My coworker thinks I’m nuts and my mom thinks I’ve gone off the deep end (she obviously doesn’t know any vegans). After we donated our TV in September, and now this, I can only imagine what my parents are saying behind my back. They tried in vain to buy us a new TV for Christmas, so that “my kids can learn something”. Wow, is all I had to say to that comment. I mean, what can you say to that?

Back to food.
Since I’ve started a week & half ago, I’ve slipped up on pizza and chocolate cake at a kid’s birthday party. I mean, who in their right mind can pass up chocolate on chocolate cake with blinking dinosaurs! It’s amazing how hard and yet, easy it can be. I think our refrigerator is finally reflecting items that are simple. So, now its not so hard to go in and find something to munch. My new fav is plain whole yogurt (Stoneyfarm) with raw cashews and honey…yum